Why Unfinished Tasks Drain You
Have you ever sat down to relax at the end of the day, only to start thinking about all the things you still need to do?
Maybe you need to call your doctor, clean out a closet, return a phone call, make an appointment, fix something around the house, or finally sort through that stack of papers.
None of these tasks may seem especially difficult. Yet somehow, they keep popping into your mind.
That constant mental nagging can be exhausting.
Psychologists have a name for these unfinished tasks: “open loops.” Think of each unfinished task as a little tab left open in your mind. The more tabs you have open, the harder it can be to relax and concentrate.
And this can become especially noticeable in retirement, when life may seem like it should be less stressful.
Your Brain Doesn't Always Know How to Let Go
When something is unfinished, your brain keeps reminding you about it.
You might be watching television when you suddenly remember:
“I still need to call my sister.”
Then, while making lunch:
“I really should make that dentist appointment.”
Later that evening:
“I've got to get that paperwork done.”
Each thought may seem small. But together, they can create a surprising amount of mental clutter.
Psychologists say we often put things off because we are focused on how unpleasant the task feels right now—the time, effort, frustration or emotional discomfort involved.
Unfortunately, avoiding the task doesn't necessarily make that discomfort disappear. It can simply move into the background and continue bothering us.
Why We Put Things Off
Procrastination isn't always about being lazy.
Sometimes we're worried that we won't do something correctly.
Sometimes a task reminds us of an unpleasant conversation.
Sometimes there are simply too many things competing for our attention.
And sometimes a job has become so overwhelming that we don't know where to begin.
For older adults, there can be another factor: there may be fewer reasons to keep putting something off, but just as many responsibilities to manage.
Medical appointments, household repairs, finances, family obligations and everyday decisions can add up.
The answer isn't to finish everything at once.
It's to start closing a few of those open loops.
Start Small—Really Small
One of the most helpful ideas from psychologists is to make the first step almost ridiculously easy.
Don't tell yourself:
“I need to clean the entire garage.”
Instead say:
“I'll clear one shelf.”
Don't think:
“I have to organize all my paperwork.”
Try:
“I'll sort these five papers.”
If you need to start exercising, you don't have to promise yourself an hour at the gym.
Put on your walking shoes.
Walk for five minutes.
The goal is not to accomplish everything immediately. The goal is to prove to yourself that you can take action.
Small successes can build confidence and make the next step easier.
Make a List of Your “Open Loops”
Take a sheet of paper and write down the things you've been putting off.
Don't worry about organizing the list perfectly.
Write down whatever comes to mind:
Make that phone call.
Schedule the appointment.
Return the package.
Fix the loose cabinet handle.
Send the birthday card.
Clean out one drawer.
Talk to a family member.
Finish the paperwork.
Seeing these things on paper can be a relief.
You no longer have to keep reminding yourself about them.
Your brain can say, “It's written down. I won't forget.”
Choose Just One
Here's the important part:
You don't have to finish the whole list.
Pick one item.
Preferably choose something small enough that you can complete it today.
Make the phone call.
Put the papers in an envelope.
Schedule the appointment.
Throw away the junk mail.
Fix the loose handle.
Then stop.
You may be surprised by how good it feels to have one less thing hanging over your head.
Don't Beat Yourself Up
Perhaps the most important lesson is this: guilt usually doesn't help.
If you've been putting something off for six months, telling yourself that you're lazy or irresponsible probably won't make you more productive.
It may make you feel worse—and feeling worse can make you want to avoid the task even more.
Instead, try saying:
“I've been avoiding this because it felt difficult. That's okay. What's the smallest step I can take now?”
Self-compassion can be much more useful than self-criticism.
You Don't Have to Close Every Loop
There is also an important distinction between unfinished and necessary.
Some things simply don't need to be done.
Maybe you've been keeping something because you think you should get around to it.
Maybe you've agreed to too many commitments.
Maybe you've been carrying responsibilities that could be delegated—or simply declined.
Closing a loop can sometimes mean finishing something.
But sometimes it means making a decision:
“I'm not going to do this.”
That's a decision too.
Try This Today
Before the day is over, take five minutes.
Write down three things you've been putting off.
Then ask yourself:
Which one is easiest?
Which one would give me the most relief?
What is the smallest step I can take?
Then take that step.
You don't have to reorganize your entire life.
You don't have to become perfectly organized.
You don't even have to finish everything on your list.
Just close one loop.
Then enjoy the feeling of having one less thing occupying your mind.
Sometimes a little unfinished business is harmless.
But when those unfinished tasks start piling up, clearing just a few of them may help you feel lighter, calmer and more in control.
